Working it

Much colder today, gray, rain coming.  Had to turn the heat on again!

 But yesterday - after great zumba class, walked 2 hours on Nauset beach (ocean side) and actually fell asleep on the sand for awhile.   Just needed to rest it all.  A dog visited and scared the hell out of me!  Then read on the sand at Crosby Landing for awhile.  Nice and sunburned now.  Getting anxious about so much time on my hands but cannot even think about going back to a big job - just couldn't do it right now.   Mental issues.   Until paperwork is final, focusing on painting condo, daily hard sweats, quilts, toughening up my bike butt, and finding insurance.   Saw Hunger Games last night - sticks close to the book.  I like the books much much more than the movie.

Sat is BEST zumba class.  More advanced and intense.  I had sweat dripping in my hair!  Felt SO very good:  "USA Today reports Zumba® Fitness was named one of the top 10 fitness trends for 2012 by the American College of Sports Medicine"  

Grabbed a coffee after class and went to look for the whales in PTown.  Parked at Herring Cove and pulled on the binocs and there they were!  So cool.  Saw spouts and backs and birds diving near them - beautiful:
Cape Cod, Massachusetts

Cape Cod boaters urged to steer clear of endangered North Atlantic right whales

www.boston.com

"Boaters off Cape Cod are being urged to keep an eye out for North Atlantic right whales in waters close to shore after about 30 of the endangered cetaceans were spotted feeding off the coast of Provincetown. "

Drove by new garden center on rte 6A - Fran's Cape Farm.  Stopped in to see if the are hiring.  This would be very good for me in many ways.  She said yes and to come back in 10 days.  Will do.

Pulse - working it

Spring!

Beautiful days this week - warm, sunny, trees starting to bud, birds chirping, turkeys lurking... all good.  Trying to sweat hard every day - zumba (LOVE IT) and/or hiking 8K-10K steps and/or bike ride.    Can finally do most of the jumping in zumba ( but still struggle with the belly dancing steps !), figured out best socks to reduce blisters for hikes and working through the initial nausea on bike rides.  Determined!

Nauset Marsh view during 10K step walk on Tues

Wellfleet Harbor fog rolling out - walk to cool down after Zumba on Wed

My new friend :) for loooong rides - 25 miles on Thurs

Read Hunger Games books while in Tuscany - awesome!  I give them 4 stars.  Looking forward to seeing the movie this weekend.

Pulse - feeding the "4 dimensions"

Back on CC

Tuscany trip was great.  We felt like we were traveling inside a jigsaw puzzle - rolling hills and steep hills and marble topped mountains everywhere.  And in the cities - Pisa, Florence - ancient art - "David" in all his glory and works from Michaelangelo and DaVinci and paintings galore of "Judgement Day" and churches churches cathedrals and more cathedrals.  All dating back to 1100 or so (!)  We traveled on planes and buses and trains.  And we walked miles and miles.  The weather was perfect - cool, mid 60's and sunny every day.  All adventures were under the Tuscan sun... truly beautiful and amazing.  We ate pasta in many versions - with leeks and garlic, with wild boar chianti sauce, after a first course of octopus, fried as an appetizer, in homemade pesto... all so yummy.  And we had local chianti and local white and lots of local olive oil and lots of local balsamic - rich and thick and so delicious.  And we ate so many olives - so good.  The Silver Fox did great - realize where my tenacity comes from.  She must have done 15K steps a day, everyday, for 9 days.  Arrived home educated, satisfied, heads full of beautiful sights, wonderful memories and very pooped :)

Bridge over Arno River - Pisa

Silver Fox in Leaning Tower Square - Pisa

Tuscan Village

View from a vineyard

Medici Cathedrals - white and green marble from the local mountains - Florence

Lunch always outside - Pisa

My favorite - the stories and masterpiece statue of Michaelangelo's "David" - created with one piece of white marble - 17 feet high and in perfect detail.  He is getting ready to battle "Goliath" and is naked because he doesn't need anything from the outside to survive and beat the giant - all his strength and abilities come from within.  His face is beautiful and determined.  His body is strong and capable.  And it's over 600 years old.  Very inspiring.

Pulse - forward

Another Day

Brother runner convinced me to caddie for him in CA. - I KNOW I will love it and am looking forward to spending time with them.  Booked it.  Gray day today.  Beautiful.  Paines Creek at low tide was spectacular.  Finished another winter quilt top - matches Paines Creek very nicely.  Borders next then layer and bind.

Paines Creek, low tide - beautiful

Paines Creek, salty air, total silence, healing

20 Blocks, Winter Blues, Fields and Furrows design 

Thought a lot about the day - up at 10, quilting, zumba, yarn for baby blanket, beach walk, deep breathing - alone but not lonely. Ok.

Pulse - shaky, determined

Dark in Here

The visual that wakes me at 4am is a very dark forest filled with monsters.  The feelings are terrifying.  The thoughts are that they will wound, likely deeply, but will not kill... The new found urge is to be brave and keep moving through, to do the right thing - no matter what  - head up, force field on.  The hope is that the journey leads to a place full of possibilities for happiness and peace.   So doing the work, have begun the ending.  Keeping busy.  Praying a lot.

The Project Linus day was a lot of fun.  I told them I was there to be bossed around and they obliged!  I ironed and cut and tied for 9 hours.  50 were completed and most took a few more each to finish up.   Expect to turn in 150 by end of Feb.  Good day.

LOTS of Linus quilts for CC babies!

Really getting into "zumba" classes.  Still a bit of a spaz but catching on pretty well.  Stopped at Fort Hill on the way to Mon night class in Wellfleet - breath taking.

Nauset Beach from Fort Hill, Eastham

Door bell rang and incredible package was delivered from my LOVELY one.  Oh so yummy and perfect.   SHE is the gift.  Ate the one with the most chocolate then headed out for a long walk on  the CCRT.  Beautiful gray, cold, crisp day today - great for deep breaths and working out.

Chocolate covered MASSIVE strawberries - OMG good.

Went along CCRT in Brewster for 1 hour - ended up at Nickerson the turned around and came back.  Went by ponds with trees covered in green Cape moss, inhaled wood stoves burning, listened to roosters crowing, moved aside for bike riders on the trail - 11829 steps round trip.  Excellent.

Cape Cod Rail Trail - Brewster

Moss covered trees in CCRT pond, Brewster

Pulse - get up, bandage up, keep moving.

Dragging

Seems terms are up in the air.. seems conversations have been had about how to really kill a wife.  Feels that way anyway.  Almost passed out yesterday.  On the edge of just too much.  But what happens at "too much"?  Nothing.  More anguish.  After many many difficult conversations, finally able to put things back together and can continue to move ahead.  Gut wrenching.  So unbelievable.  Grief stricken is a real thing.  Seems I take 1 step forward and 100 steps back.  wtf.  Had to get out before anxiety attack struck so went for a long walk to Coast Guard beach then back through the Marsh trail - over 11K steps.  Good.  

Finished putting winter quilt blocks together.  Now have to decide on which pattern.  Leaning towards "Barn Raising" but also like "Waves".  Hmmmmmmm.....

Winter Blues 

Winter Blues

36 Blocks, Winter Blues, Barn Raising design

25 Blocks, Winter Blues, Waves design

Pulse - broken

Getting Healthy

Bummer that the Pats lost - who would of thunk it?  Just a real bummer.  Spent a nice weekend with Gram and Alice having lunch munchies and watching the game.  Very funny to watch all three of us crocheting like crazy while sitting and chatting - nice weekend.  Gram needs lots of hugs. She seems older with every visit - seems to be fading, looks tired, moves very slow.  Everyone needs to talk to gram and hug her as much as possible.  Tuscany trip coming up and she's busy thinking about what to bring - will make it a great trip!

Went on a hike after zumba class today - 7 miles round trip!  A real kick ass hike along Wellfleet's Herring bay and thorough the dunes to the ocean.  The hike is called Great Island trail.  Just beautiful.  Came upon IFAW releasing some stranded dolphins.  Has been happening all over the Cape and especially in Wellfleet harbor.  Seems they get too close then get confused at low tide and cannot get back out so beach and die.

IFAW bringing a beached Dolphin into the bay, Wellfleet

IFAW working hard, Wellfleet

Herring Bay where dolphins get confused

IFAW guiding stranded dolphin out to area where 2 other dolphins were waiting

Ocean side, Wellfleet - dolphin's destination!

Processing the final paperwork, tough days.  Have agreed to terms so should not be a big deal.  Understand it will take a few months to go through the legal steps, geez.  I want to get this all done by April.  I cannot keep thinking "what if".  No more.  Moving on.  Enough.  Really enjoying spending time with the "meetup" people.  Very comforting to be making new friends.  Fri night is a "new members meet and greet" for one of the groups at a place right down the street.  Should be fun.  Sat is "Project Linus" day with  the quilt guild.  They intend to make 150 quilts for Cape babies.  I'm bringing brownies and energy and letting them boss me around to do whatever they need.  My winter ocean quilt is coming along nicely.  Actually making two at once.  And my granny crochet afgan has all squares ( 14 rows by 14 columns) sewed together one way - was my super bowl day project.  Need to sew up the other way, frost and celebrate... steady progress.

Pulse - finding peace